Actually, it’s not the first time I’ve kissed Ryan. It’s probably around the fourth or fifth time in the last 6 months. We have a little thing going on, Ryan and me.
It goes something like this:
I go to bed. I fall asleep. Then Ryan shows up. Gorgeous, gleaming and ever the gentleman. So we get together, go on a date, and at the end of the date he leans in to kiss me. But then he sees someone else – another woman – and he looks at me, with those big puppy dog-eyes and says “Hey Girl, I’m sorry, but I already have a girlfriend, and she’s right over there. I love her, and I have to leave you to be with her.”
And off he goes, breaking my heart in a million pieces. He ALWAYS chooses the other girl over me, and every time it completely floors me.
Of course what happens then is that I wake up, and realise that I’ve been dreaming about Ryan Gosling again.
The crazy thing is, it takes me several hours to get over the disappointment and the absolute feeling of rejection that this recurring dream leaves me with every single time!
I’ve worked out there is a pattern to when this dream shows up in my life. It’s always when I am feeling vulnerable, uncertain and more than a little stressed about the success (or otherwise) of my burgeoning business. I am scared that in putting myself out there as a leader, and as a thought leader on creating a business, career and life that you love, I will potentially be laughed at, ridiculed, shot down, or, even worse, ignored. In other words, people will reject me, just like Ryan does – every time.
As human beings we all share the basic need to be loved and accepted. From tiny babies who need the nurturing and love of a mother or father, right through to our amazing elderly generation who need compassion and support in their last days on this earth, we spend most of our time seeking love and acceptance in some shape or form.
Experiencing love in our lives should be a given, yet as we know, many people in the world know nothing other than rejection, sadness and loneliness due to their economic, cultural, family or personal circumstances.
Most of the women reading this are lucky that they are not in that position. They are out there, forging amazing careers and businesses, and changing the way business is done by being courageous and following their dreams.
But we all know some days that courage fails us. And often the fear of not getting it right, of not being good enough, and ultimately of being rejected stand in our way and stop our dreams in their tracks.
So, with a nod to International Women’s Day, here are my thoughts on what we, as women in a progressive country where we have boundless opportunities to succeed, contribute and make a difference to our lives and the lives of others, can do to beat those fears, any time they do raise their ugly head.
Don’t ignore the fear – look it straight in the face and say, “Hey – I know why you’ve shown up now. It’s to remind me that what I am doing has massive potential to change lives. And that I need all my courage to see this through. So thanks for that reminder. Now you can leave and ask Courage to step right in”.
After you’ve acknowledged it, immediately do one thing that you need to do to move your dream and vision forward. Just one thing. Because doing that one thing gets you closer to achieving what you really care about.
The reality is that while we seek love, we will always encounter rejection. But without rejection, we can never really know just how amazingly special the love is, when it does come. Accept that, for every Ryan Gosling moment, there is a George Clooney moment just waiting to happen.
As women who want to make a difference, we are out there “doing it”. We’re not sitting at home, wishing and hoping that it will get easier and that someone else will do it for us. And that fact alone is why I LOVE every one of you reading this. Because this very fact means you are deserving of all the love, attention, adulation and kisses in the world, just for being who you are, and doing what you do.
If you’d like to learn more about how you can take ownership of your career to allow you to create a career you love, be rewarded for what you do and take control of your future, you might want to join me for a LIVE and FREE workshop, where I’ll show you exactly how to do just that. Click here to find out more.
This article was first posted in Gloss, the online magazine of Little Black Dress Group. You can view the original article here.